***
After that first forbidden experience, your mother Eve rolled over and fell asleep, her hands tucked under her blushing cheek with a sweet, dimpled, Neanderthal smile.
Minutes later, here comes Adam, marching through the woods like a soldier and whistling "How great Thou art" – one of those silly tunes that the Lord had taught him – to the beat of his privy male metronome.
When he saw Eve, Adam drew himself up short. He saw the discarded yellow peels, from the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, scattered on the ground. He saw the satisfied grin on his sleeping wife's face. And he knew.
"Oh, Eve!" he cried.
I have read somewhere that Adam tried to clod his wife from the tree with dirtballs before she sinned, but that's not true. He arrived too late for that.
Adam wept. He inferred that Eve was already dead from having eaten the forbidden fruit, just as the Lord had prophesied. Romeo-like, he resolved to eat of the poisoned leftovers, and to die by her side.
But when he bent over to kiss her cheek, she woke up.
I'll not describe all that followed during those next thirty minutes. Suffice it to say, Homo nudus cum nuda iacebat. Use your imagination. The only important theological information is that Adam hearkened unto his wife, and tasted of the forbidden fruit. He felt for the first time the guilty pleasure of sin: and he thought it was rather nice.
– L.
