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The Bible reports the true story of Eve's creation from Adam's bone not only to show us that human cloning, from a divinely phallocentric point of view, can have terrible consequences, but also to settle the old rooster-egg controversy:
The man comes not from the woman, but the woman from the man. Neither was the man created to succor the woman, but the woman to succor the man. The man is the image of God. (1 Cor. 11:7-9)
It is the fixed conclusion of God and the apostle Paul that the human sexes were not created equal:
Women must learn in silence, in total subjection. Women must not be allowed to teach, nor to usurp authority over men, but only to keep quiet. This is because Adam was created first, then Eve. And Adam did not disobey, but the woman disobeyed and fell into sin. Nonetheless, a woman may be saved from damnation, through child-bearing, if she continues in faith, adoration, piety, and sobriety. (I Timothy 2:11-15)
The Rev. Pat Robertson has explained it this way:
I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period. ... The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.
(P. Robertson, Christian fund-raising letter)
God, Saint Paul, and Pat agree that bossy women will be banished from Heaven, come Judgment Day.
(Well, don't despair, ladies: I love intelligent, independent women, and I shall welcome you all into my kingdom, with or without your hubbies.)
Many problems related to human creation, such as the question of navels, went unexplained until the Christian era. For example, not until Saint Thomas Aquinas, in the Summa Theologiae, did God reveal the interesting factoid that Adam and Eve were perfectly formed, without a belly button; and that both of their bodies, and yours, shall again be perfect, without navels, when resurrected at the Second Coming of Christ.
It was also Saint Thomas who settled the theological dispute concerning ownership of Adam's rib: at the resurrection, the borrowed bone will belong to Eve, and Adam will get a new rib to replace the one he lost – just as modern-day organ donors will have the loan repaid to them on Judgment Day. At the final resurrection, writes Saint Thomas, whether to Heaven or to Hell, resurrected human bodies will be complete, with no missing parts. It's just that the male bodies in Heaven will have one perfect part that has been retired from activity. Nor will the women in Heaven ever again need to use their perfect place in which to put it.
(Don't despair, sinners: come to my kingdom, and you may use your own body any way you please, with another consenting adult, so long as you have fun and no one gets hurt.)
– L.
