***
The holy Ghost was the first One (or rather, the first One-Third) to note a thoughtless oversight in the world's otherwise intelligent design:
Amongst all the creatures of the Earth, there could not be found any helpmate fit for the man. (Gen. 2.20)
All of the other beasts and birds – the ram, the buck, the stallion, the bull, the billy-goat, the rooster, the turtledove, the male bunny rabbit – had female helpmates that fit them. Adam had none.
The talk of "fit" in this context is not meant to imply that Adam actually tried on various female mammals for size – or at least, I never saw him do it – but the holy Ghost foresaw the temptations that would later beset such famous men of God as Abraham, Joseph, and King David. (Hell, back in his teenaged sheep-herding days, David was one busy boy – no lamb was safe from that kid. But that was before he found God [1 Chron. 17:7, KJV]). It was also before he found Bathsheba.
God knew that Adam, being a man, was vulnerable to temptation. If the Trinity did not make a female helpmate that fit him, then Adam, by and by, would be chasing farm animals, just like some primitive Hebrew shepherd or a Utah rancher (Exod. 22:19, Lev. 20:15). "Look," said Yahveh, "it is not good for the man to be left alone! We had better create a helpmate fit to succor him" (Gen. 2:19, KJV). So God did that, and not a minute too soon.
The Trinity made the man fall asleep. They surgically removed a rib, and reshaped the bone into a feminine creature with long black hair, brown eyes, full lips, perfect breasts, and no penis. Same DNA as before. Yahveh then closed Adam's chest and woke him up.
Adam stared at Eve in wonder. "What's that?" he asked.
"Congratulations," said Yahveh. "It's a girl" (Gen. 2.19-23).
Adam was not sure, at first, whether he liked what he saw, but he did not wish to seem ungrateful for the present. He looked over God's gift, top to bottom, front and back; and compared her body to his own. Finally, he remarked: "Well, I'll say this, it's different!"
– L.
