***
On Day 7 the divine Threesome rested from His labors. I'll get to that. But first I must tell you about what happened at Happy Hour on that sixth afternoon; because, without it, you and the rest of the human race would not exist.
Friday afternoon. After an eternity of nothing, and just five full days of something, God was ready to perform the greatest divine feat ever attempted since the Big Bang, more than 100 hours earlier: He was now ready to create a male human.
(Tech crew: give me a drum roll, please...)
"Behold," said Yahveh, to the Son and the holy Ghost, by way of self-compliment: "All that We has made is good! Now let Us make a male human in Our image, in Our very likeness" (Gen. 1:26).
A mist arose from the ground, covering the Earth.
Working in the fog so that my two pals and I could not see how He did it, Yahveh fell to work: with His own hands, He kneaded some dust and spit, and moulded it into the shape of a homo sapiens.
When He had finally achieved a good likeness of Himself, from top to bottom to the tips of His toes, the Lord breathed life into the creature's nostrils, set him on his feet, and called him "Adam" (a Hebrew phrase meaning "Pink Clay" [Gen. 2:6-7]).
For about ten minutes, the fog over the Earth was thick as clam chowder.
Quite suddenly, the clouds sank back into the ground – and lo, what a surprise! Here stood a little homunculus about four feet tall, stark leafless! And he looked just like a tiny Yahveh made out of Silly Putty®! But no toga! I was amazed at the sight of him. My pals were less impressed than I was. Beelzebub and Belial took one look and split a gut, laughing. They called Adam names like "Yahwette" and "Trinity, Junior," and "the new quadruplet," and "the blinking idiot."
Once we got to know Adam personally, we all liked him. The man looked like a miniature Yahveh, true, but he had a much nicer personality than God, and if you forgot to praise him for a few minutes, he didn’t get his figleaf in a twist.
Yes, your first great-granddaddy was really an okay fellow. Even God said so, at first (Gen. 1:19)—before He changed His mind (Gen. 6:6). Later, God said His big mistake was that He ought not to have created one woman and one man. He should have created three men instead, or possibly one triune man with three heads, and left the woman out of it altogether. Frankly, I disagree. When God created woman, He did something right, for once.
– L.
