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Lucifer's True History of Everything

Aug 21, 06 05:02 PM

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(The Life of Paul:  Concluded!)

Christians throughout the Roman empire were at first disheartened when they heard of the apostle's fate, for they had counted heavily Paul's own prophecy: "The Lord shall deliver me from every evil," he wrote, "and preserve me until the kingdom of Heaven has come.  I shall be delivered from the mouth of the lion!" (2 Tim. 4:17-18).

Well, prophecy was never Paul's forte: none of his predictions ever came true.  But truly, his predicted delivery from the mouth of the lion was not so far wrong; in fact, it was off by less than a meter: Paul was dispatched by "the mouth of the lion," and then "delivered" from the cat's other end.  So it was really just a matter of one's exegetical interpretation.

Then, too, every cloud has its silver lining.  Before Saint Paul passed away, or rather, before he passed through the lion, in one end and out the other, the apostle helped the Trinity to put Their finishing touches on the Holy Bible.  Thirteen of the New Testament's twenty-seven books were divinely dictated to Saint Paul, most of them while he was in jail waiting to meet that cat in Nero's Circus.  You can therefore rest assured that the lion incident, when it finally came, was not a punishment for sin.  That Circus lion was the Lord's way of saying to Paul, "Thank you for your excellent service!" and "Welcome to the kingdom of Heaven!"

And now for the one you have all been waiting for:  the Son of God.

Jesus Christ is not just coming soon.  He is coming next week.

(I'll be offline for the next few days to get ready for Him.  In the meantime, I trust that you will enjoy reading and re-reading the True History of Everything from page 1.) 

--L. 

Posted by Lucifer at 05:02 PM

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Yo, Lucy wannabe, Peter stuck up for Paul in verse 16 calling you what you are. This world is not the only thing headed for fire. It will burn up, but the real slewfoot and his followers won't. Baal or his spirit minions can't repent or be saved but the humans (even you) can and God desires that while all the old goat cares about are lies and murder as he has from the beginning. Go ahead and play this game. You'll remember this friendly warning forever. His grace has given you the free will to mock now but as the phrase is used over at AIG "legs that mock have knees that will bend." There is still grace for you. You will send yourself to Hell with the lad you claim to speak for, but Jesus paid for even this sin. He loves you and the devil mocks you as you mock God. You're keeping the wrong company. The gang may be in Hell but there won't be a party. May Christ place a hedge of thorns around you and keep evil from you and draw you to Himself. May all this nonsense lose it's taste and may you have no peace until you come to the Prince of Peace and surrender to His love. Shalom, dude!

2 Pet 3:1-18
1 This second epistle, beloved, I now write unto you; in both which I stir up your pure minds by way of remembrance:
2 That ye may be mindful of the words which were spoken before by the holy prophets, and of the commandment of us the apostles of the Lord and Saviour:
3 Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts,
4 And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation.
5 For this they willingly are ignorant of, that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of the water and in the water:
6 Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished:
7 But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men.
8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
11 Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness,
12 Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?
13 Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness.
14 Wherefore, beloved, seeing that ye look for such things, be diligent that ye may be found of him in peace, without spot, and blameless.
15 And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you;
16 As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.
17 Ye therefore, beloved, seeing ye know these things before, beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own stedfastness.
18 But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen. (KJV)

Posted by: Peter at August 24, 2006 10:51 PM

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