Paul could talk about Hell until the cows came home, and left again, and came home again, and he usually did. But when the sermon was finally over – sometimes two, three days after he started – he would stretch out his arms, and say: "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy-laden, and I shall give you rest." Those who wished to receive eternal salvation formed a line on the right. Those who were sick or handicapped, and who wished to be made well even if God threw their complete body into Hell to be gnawed by worms and be burnt by fire, were told to form a line on the left, and Paul would heal them.

While trained spiritual counselors handled the line on the right, Paul processed the shorter line on the left, which was really the main show, and many people who were already born again stayed in their seats to watch it, just as if it were a big modern healing show on TBN television. If a person had, let's say, a severe sore throat, Paul would lay one hand on the head of the person and say, "Behold, in seven days thou shalt be whole!" and a week later, the person would be just fine.

Sometimes it came even quicker. I remember one lady, 60-ish, a solemn and stocky Greek widow dressed all in black – this was just south of Athens – who, when it was her turn to be healed, whispered something in the apostle's ear. And Paul (somewhat louder, perhaps, than he intended, because I could hear it all the way in the back of the tent) announced: "Behold, thy hemorrhoid is gone. Go in peace!" And of course, no one actually checked it out, so there was no immediate proof, but from the expression on the woman's face as she hurried out, it truly seemed to me as if she would experience complete relief as soon as she got out of there.

I never saw that particular miracle duplicated until a 1981 evangelistic crusade in Philadelphia, when the Rev. Marion "Pat" Robertson announced a cure for everyone in the entire audience who was suffering that night from painful burning and itching due to hemorrhoidal tissue – which I thought was one of the most thoughtful things that Pat Robertson ever did, to heal the itching of others like that, without first healing his own, even though he could not stop thinking about it! And all of the older Christians who were there in Philadelphia that night, and who were healed, said the same thing: "So long as we have the Rev. Pat Robertson, who needs Preparation H?"

When Beelzebub heard what the elderly Christians of Philadephia were saying about Pat's crusade for hemorrhoid relief, he made a joke about it. He said: "Where is Pat Robertson when you need him most? — he's nowhere in sight!"

– L.